Intimacy of Harm

What if conflict could become a doorway to connection?

Too often, we experience conflict as distance, rupture, or disconnection. This weekend asks a different question: what if harm could become a place to deepen intimacy, trust, and care?

Intimacy of Harm is an invitation to practice staying present with yourself, each other, and the communities you are part of. Together, we’ll explore how to feel seen and safe, communicate needs with clarity, and navigate differences without losing connection. We’ll experiment with holding conflict as a tool for understanding, empathy, and collective growth.

The core question is:

How can we build relationships — personal, collective, and societal — that allow us to be free to be ourselves, even in the presence of conflict?

We approach this question on three intertwined levels:

Consent – How do we tune into our bodies and communicate our needs? How do we build relationships where we are free to express ourselves fully? How are these skills practiced over time?

Conflict – Once we feel safe, how can we hold our differences? How can conflict nurture safety, intimacy, and trust, instead of causing distance?

Community – How can these practices scale into projects, collectives, and communities that are sustainable, care-driven, and better the world?

This weekend is about showing up, experimenting, and practicing the tools that transform harm into connection and connection into action.

The Flow of the Weekend

Thursday | Arrival & Opening

Arrival between 16:00 – 18:00. We’ll share a pot of soup and light the fire as we begin with an opening circle to set intentions, get to know each other and the space, and start our journey together. 

Friday & Saturday | From consent to conflict

To start the day, a delicious breakfast and greeting the mountains. A morning circle to check in and move our bodies. We’ll have two “workshop” slots. In the morning, exploring the myriad ways to communicate needs, feel safe, and deepen intimacy. We’ll use experiential exercises to practice holding differences and navigating conflict. We’ll experiment with how rupture can lead to deeper understanding, empathy, and trust. Movement, touch, and play help us embody these practices.

And I’m sure living together in one house for the weekend will give us moments to practice 😉

Then lunch and a siesta! Some time for yourself to enjoy the mountain life – walks in the snow, star-gazing, board games, journaling, and moments of connection. Time to process and integrate the content. 

After an early dinner, we will have an evening program that suits the needs of the group. From quiet discussions to embodied playfight, we will embody conflict and connection in all its delightful forms. 

Sunday | Community & Integration

We’ll close the weekend by weaving these skills into visions for your communities, personal and collective. A big meal and then the final circle to reflect, share, and integrate before departing around 15:00.

Throughout the weekend: community meals, hiking in the snow, playful experiments, shared ritual, moments of holding and being held, laughter, tea, and the quiet presence of mountain life.

About the Place

We’ll be spending the weekend in Sogn Andriu, a cozy Alpine “village” (of 4 houses) nestled in the Swiss mountains. The house we’re staying in has wooden beams, panoramic views, a crackling fire, and a big kitchen that smells like soup and coffee. There’s plenty of space to curl up with a book, step out into the snow, or stare into the stars.

The neighbors include newborn lambs and baby donkeys.

The house is easily accessible by public transportation, which is encouraged. After taking the train to Ilanz, Bus 441 up the mountain is free for all during the winter months. Just get off at Lumbrein, Sogn Andriu and you’re at the end of the driveway.

Dinners will be a community event – you’re either helping to cook or clean up! Think (vegan) soups and stews, a side salad. There’ll be freshly baked bread and the most delicious butter and cheese bought straight from the local farmers – who have banded together to ensure the entire mountain is pesticide-free! 

My husband and a close friend will be on-site in the evenings but not part of the retreat as we’re spending the full winter here. They’re friendly and will do their best to not intrude. During the day, they will be at work.

Who This Weekend Is For

This weekend is for anyone who wants to explore intimacy through conflict. Who struggles to give themself permission to be messy, unfair, and imperfect. 

It’s for people longing for deeper connection to themselves, to others, and to the communities they care about and see the necessity of healthy conflict for the longevity of any project.

For those who feel frustrated by harm repeating in relationships, groups, or society and want to practice tools to respond differently.

For anyone who believes that care can be political, that repair can be revolutionary, and that connection is a practice.

You’re welcome to come alone 🧡

and you’re warmly encouraged to come with a friend, lover, or close person.

Most rooms have shared beds, and the experience itself deepens when shared: bringing someone close makes it easier to carry the weekend’s learnings back into daily life.

Practicalities & Pricing

Dates: Thursday, February 5th (arrival from 16:00 – 18:00) until Sunday, February 8th (departure around 15:00)

Location: Sogn Andriu, Lumbrein, Graubünden, Switzerland — sognandriu.com

Pricing Your contribution has two parts:

• 400 CHF base — This is paid by all participants! It covers my facilitation of the workshops and rituals, all meals and snacks, material costs.

• + lodging choice — depending on comfort and room preference. Price is inclusive of all three nights – TOTAL!

• If this is out of reach for you, please send me an email at elladoesworkshops@gmail.com and we can figure something out together. 

All meals, tea, snacks, materials, and firewood included. There are 3 (shared) bathrooms with showers. We will be max 10 people sharing the house.

❄️ The Ice Palace has less insulation than the rest of the house but warms up nicely with the space heater. For those who enjoy the feeling of being tucked under a warm duvet with the cold winter air around you.

💛 One reduced-rate spot is available for someone who needs it. Please email me at elladoesworkshops@gmail.com if you need the financial assistance.

If you’re in a position of financial abundance, you’re invited to add a small solidarity contribution to support others’ access – another reduced-rate spot could become available!

 

The Procedure
You will apply for the retreat by filling in this sign up form, indicating what lodging you’d like to sleep in. You can then secure your spot by transferring the money for the base ticket.

After I have assigned you to a room, I will email you with a confirmation. You can then transfer the remaining money or bring cash to the event.

In the case of a cancellation, this is what I can offer you:

Until January 21st, a full refund can be issued (minus service fees).

Cancellations between January 22nd – January 29th will receive a 50% refund.

After January 30th, I can no longer offer a refund.

Let’s build community!

This February, instead of avoiding harm, we’ll meet it with curiosity, courage, and care.

What if conflict could deepen intimacy? What if repair could become a revolutionary act?

Come explore the practices, share the warmth, and leave with tools to nurture connection in your life and communities.

The link to the sign up form:
https://cryptpad.fr/form/#/2/form/view/Qi9i1kS0Y25i08vDVkywwmV+nmt2rvdoG3riIaIwclw/